Discernment
Counselling
Discernment Counselling
Discernment
Counselling
Relationships on the Brink: Contemplating Your Relationship's Future
Discernment Counselling offers a secure and reflective environment for couples teetering on the brink of divorce to examine and assess their reasons for considering divorce or reconciliation. This specialized counselling is particularly beneficial when there is uncertainty about whether ending the marriage or working towards its recovery is the right choice. It provides a deliberate pause, allowing for careful contemplation of the future of your marriage—a chance to slow down, take a breath, and explore the options available for your relationship.
The Process of Discernment Counselling
This form of counselling typically involves parallel one-on-one counselling sessions where each partner is given the opportunity to reflect on their relationship, their contributions to the current dynamics, communicate their feelings and needs with the counsellor, and explore their options. The counsellor guides the couple individually through a series of sessions, each designed to help them gain clarity and a deeper understanding of where they are at and make an informed decision about their future together or apart.
The primary goal of Discernment Counselling is not to solve relationship problems but to reduce the confusion and ambivalence surrounding the decision-making process, helping partners to reach a conclusion that feels right for them.
Discernment Counseling is particularly beneficial for couples who feel uncertain about their relationship’s future, including those contemplating separation or divorce. It is especially helpful for couples caught in a cycle of unresolved issues or where one partner is considering leaving (referred to as “leaning out”) while the other is committed to preserving and rebuilding the relationship (“leaning in”). This counseling approach is designed to address these varied perspectives, offering tailored guidance to partners in these complex situations.
Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:
- When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
- When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
- When there is danger of domestic violence
- When one or both partners are in active addiction
In Discernment Counselling, the therapist plays a crucial role in crafting a non-judgmental, open, and supportive space for couples. The focus is on fostering honest communication, unravelling underlying issues, and methodically examining the pros and cons of each decision. The therapist guides the couple in understanding the factors contributing to the deterioration of their relationship and assists in evaluating the potential for positive change and improvement. The therapist provides a thoughtful and compassionate approach, guiding you through this pivotal process with the utmost care and expertise.
Discernment Counseling culminates in the couple’s decision to either work on their relationship in therapy, move towards separation or divorce, or take a temporary break to reassess their feelings and options. Regardless of the outcome, the process aims to bring clarity, understanding, and a sense of resolution for both partners.
Discernment counselling follows a structured format, limited to a maximum of five sessions, each lasting 1.5 to 2 hours. In the initial session (2 hours), the therapist meets with both partners collectively for approximately 35 minutes. Subsequently, one partner is engaged in a private one-on-one discussion with the counsellor for approximately 35 minutes, after which the waiting partner returns to receive a summary of the conversation. The process is then repeated with the other partner. At the conclusion of each session, both partners share their current position and perspectives on where they are in the decision-making process regarding the relationship. The session concludes by scheduling the next appointment.
Maha Elias Couples Counsellor, Victoria BC
Registered Clinical Counselor (RCC)
Comprehensive Family Mediator (FMC)
Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC)
As a dedicated couple’s therapist who is deeply invested in my personal growth and development, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to guide couples through relationship challenges. My genuine passion for helping couples build strong, loving connections stems from both my personal journey and extensive work with diverse clients. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, I tailor my approach to address individual needs, desires, and differences. With a commitment to ongoing effort and dedication, I am here to support you in fostering a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
Maha Elias Couples Counsellor, Victoria BC
Registered Clinical Counselor (RCC)
Comprehensive Family Mediator (FMC)
Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC)
As a dedicated couple’s therapist who is deeply invested in my personal growth and development, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to guide couples through relationship challenges. My genuine passion for helping couples build strong, loving connections stems from both my personal journey and extensive work with diverse clients. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, I tailor my approach to address individual needs, desires, and differences. With a commitment to ongoing effort and dedication, I am here to support you in fostering a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
As a dedicated couple’s therapist who is deeply invested in my personal growth and development, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to guide couples through relationship challenges. My genuine passion for helping couples build strong, loving connections stems from both my personal journey and extensive work with diverse clients. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, I tailor my approach to address individual needs, desires, and differences. With a commitment to ongoing effort and dedication, I am here to support you in fostering a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
Choose Your Path with Assurance and Purpose
When uncertainty clouds the decision between working on the relationship or letting go, the discernment process provides a guided space. It’s designed to bring clarity to your confusion, offering insights and understanding to help you navigate the complex emotions you’re currently experiencing. Let me share more about how discernment counselling can be a valuable tool in finding the path forward amidst these challenging moments.
Clarity and Understanding
Discernment Counselling provides couples with a structured and focused environment to gain clarity about their relationship. It allows each partner to articulate their concerns, aspirations, and uncertainties, fostering a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.
Informed Decision-Making
By carefully exploring the reasons behind considering divorce and the potential for reconciliation, couples can make more informed decisions about the future of their relationship. This process helps individuals weigh the pros and cons of each option, leading to a decision that is grounded in thoughtful consideration.
Reduced Emotional Stress
The non-judgmental and supportive nature of Discernment Counselling creates a space where couples can express their feelings without fear of judgment. This can help alleviate emotional stress, providing a more conducive environment for honest communication and reflection.
Address unresolved wounds, break free from their impact, and build a foundation for emotional well-being.
Potential for Reconciliation
For couples contemplating divorce, Discernment Counselling offers a dedicated platform to evaluate the potential for positive change and improvement in the relationship. It allows partners to explore whether they are willing and able to invest in the necessary efforts to salvage their marriage.
Time and Space for Reflection
This specialized counselling provides a pause, allowing couples to step back from the intensity of their situation. It gives them the time and space needed to reflect on their relationship, fostering a more deliberate decision-making process that goes beyond impulsive reactions.
Address unresolved wounds, break free from their impact, and build a foundation for emotional well-being.
Clarity and Understanding
Discernment Counselling provides couples with a structured and focused environment to gain clarity about their relationship. It allows each partner to articulate their concerns, aspirations, and uncertainties, fostering a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.
Informed Decision-Making
By carefully exploring the reasons behind considering divorce and the potential for reconciliation, couples can make more informed decisions about the future of their relationship. This process helps individuals weigh the pros and cons of each option, leading to a decision that is grounded in thoughtful consideration.
Reduced Emotional Stress
The non-judgmental and supportive nature of Discernment Counselling creates a space where couples can express their feelings without fear of judgment. This can help alleviate emotional stress, providing a more conducive environment for honest communication and reflection.
Potential for Reconciliation
For couples contemplating divorce, Discernment Counselling offers a dedicated platform to evaluate the potential for positive change and improvement in the relationship. It allows partners to explore whether they are willing and able to invest in the necessary efforts to salvage their marriage.
Time and Space for Reflection
This specialized counselling provides a pause, allowing couples to step back from the intensity of their situation. It gives them the time and space needed to reflect on their relationship, fostering a more deliberate decision-making process that goes beyond impulsive reactions.
Engaging in Discernment Counselling before finalizing a decision empowers couples to approach the situation with a clear perspective, reduced emotional turmoil, and a greater chance of making choices aligned with their long-term well-being.
