Discernment
Counselling

Discernment &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Counselling

Discernment
Counselling

Relationships on the Brink: Contemplating Your Relationship's Future

Discernment Counselling offers a secure and reflective environment for couples teetering on the brink of divorce to examine and assess their reasons for considering divorce or reconciliation. This specialized counselling is particularly beneficial when there is uncertainty about whether ending the marriage or working towards its recovery is the right choice. It provides a deliberate pause, allowing for careful contemplation of the future of your marriage—a chance to slow down, take a breath, and explore the options available for your relationship.

The Process of Discernment Counselling

This form of counselling typically involves parallel one-on-one counselling sessions where each partner is given the opportunity to reflect on their relationship, their contributions to the current dynamics, communicate their feelings and needs with the counsellor, and explore their options. The counsellor guides the couple individually through a series of sessions, each designed to help them gain clarity and a deeper understanding of where they are at and make an informed decision about their future together or apart.

The primary goal of Discernment Counselling is not to solve relationship problems but to reduce the confusion and ambivalence surrounding the decision-making process, helping partners to reach a conclusion that feels right for them.

Discernment Counseling is particularly beneficial for couples who feel uncertain about their relationship’s future, including those contemplating separation or divorce. It is especially helpful for couples caught in a cycle of unresolved issues or where one partner is considering leaving (referred to as “leaning out”) while the other is committed to preserving and rebuilding the relationship (“leaning in”). This counseling approach is designed to address these varied perspectives, offering tailored guidance to partners in these complex situations.

 

Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:

  • When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
  • When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
  • When there is danger of domestic violence
  • When one or both partners are in active addiction

In Discernment Counselling, the therapist plays a crucial role in crafting a non-judgmental, open, and supportive space for couples. The focus is on fostering honest communication, unravelling underlying issues, and methodically examining the pros and cons of each decision. The therapist guides the couple in understanding the factors contributing to the deterioration of their relationship and assists in evaluating the potential for positive change and improvement.  The therapist provides a thoughtful and compassionate approach, guiding you through this pivotal process with the utmost care and expertise.

Discernment Counseling culminates in the couple’s decision to either work on their relationship in therapy, move towards separation or divorce, or take a temporary break to reassess their feelings and options. Regardless of the outcome, the process aims to bring clarity, understanding, and a sense of resolution for both partners.

Discernment counselling follows a structured format, limited to a maximum of five sessions, each lasting 1.5 to 2 hours. In the initial session (2 hours), the therapist meets with both partners collectively for approximately 35 minutes. Subsequently, one partner is engaged in a private one-on-one discussion with the counsellor for approximately 35 minutes, after which the waiting partner returns to receive a summary of the conversation. The process is then repeated with the other partner. At the conclusion of each session, both partners share their current position and perspectives on where they are in the decision-making process regarding the relationship. The session concludes by scheduling the next appointment. 

Maha Elias Couples Counsellor, Victoria BC

Registered Clinical Counselor (RCC)

Comprehensive Family Mediator (FMC)

Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC)

As a dedicated couple’s therapist who is deeply invested in my personal growth and development, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to guide couples through relationship challenges. My genuine passion for helping couples build strong, loving connections stems from both my personal journey and extensive work with diverse clients. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, I tailor my approach to address individual needs, desires, and differences. With a commitment to ongoing effort and dedication, I am here to support you in fostering a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

More About Maha

Maha Elias Couples Counsellor, Victoria BC

Registered Clinical Counselor (RCC)

Comprehensive Family Mediator (FMC)

Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC)

As a dedicated couple’s therapist who is deeply invested in my personal growth and development, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to guide couples through relationship challenges. My genuine passion for helping couples build strong, loving connections stems from both my personal journey and extensive work with diverse clients. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, I tailor my approach to address individual needs, desires, and differences. With a commitment to ongoing effort and dedication, I am here to support you in fostering a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

More About Maha

As a dedicated couple’s therapist who is deeply invested in my personal growth and development, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to guide couples through relationship challenges. My genuine passion for helping couples build strong, loving connections stems from both my personal journey and extensive work with diverse clients. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, I tailor my approach to address individual needs, desires, and differences. With a commitment to ongoing effort and dedication, I am here to support you in fostering a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

Choose Your Path with Assurance and Purpose

When uncertainty clouds the decision between working on the relationship or letting go, the discernment process provides a guided space. It’s designed to bring clarity to your confusion, offering insights and understanding to help you navigate the complex emotions you’re currently experiencing. Let me share more about how discernment counselling can be a valuable tool in finding the path forward amidst these challenging moments. 

Clarity and Understanding

Discernment Counselling provides couples with a structured and focused environment to gain clarity about their relationship. It allows each partner to articulate their concerns, aspirations, and uncertainties, fostering a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.

Informed Decision-Making

By carefully exploring the reasons behind considering divorce and the potential for reconciliation, couples can make more informed decisions about the future of their relationship. This process helps individuals weigh the pros and cons of each option, leading to a decision that is grounded in thoughtful consideration.

Reduced Emotional Stress

The non-judgmental and supportive nature of Discernment Counselling creates a space where couples can express their feelings without fear of judgment. This can help alleviate emotional stress, providing a more conducive environment for honest communication and reflection.

Address unresolved wounds, break free from their impact, and build a foundation for emotional well-being.

Potential for Reconciliation

For couples contemplating divorce, Discernment Counselling offers a dedicated platform to evaluate the potential for positive change and improvement in the relationship. It allows partners to explore whether they are willing and able to invest in the necessary efforts to salvage their marriage.

Time and Space for Reflection

This specialized counselling provides a pause, allowing couples to step back from the intensity of their situation. It gives them the time and space needed to reflect on their relationship, fostering a more deliberate decision-making process that goes beyond impulsive reactions.

Address unresolved wounds, break free from their impact, and build a foundation for emotional well-being.

Clarity and Understanding

Discernment Counselling provides couples with a structured and focused environment to gain clarity about their relationship. It allows each partner to articulate their concerns, aspirations, and uncertainties, fostering a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.

Informed Decision-Making

By carefully exploring the reasons behind considering divorce and the potential for reconciliation, couples can make more informed decisions about the future of their relationship. This process helps individuals weigh the pros and cons of each option, leading to a decision that is grounded in thoughtful consideration.

Reduced Emotional Stress

The non-judgmental and supportive nature of Discernment Counselling creates a space where couples can express their feelings without fear of judgment. This can help alleviate emotional stress, providing a more conducive environment for honest communication and reflection.

Potential for Reconciliation

For couples contemplating divorce, Discernment Counselling offers a dedicated platform to evaluate the potential for positive change and improvement in the relationship. It allows partners to explore whether they are willing and able to invest in the necessary efforts to salvage their marriage.

Time and Space for Reflection

This specialized counselling provides a pause, allowing couples to step back from the intensity of their situation. It gives them the time and space needed to reflect on their relationship, fostering a more deliberate decision-making process that goes beyond impulsive reactions.

Engaging in Discernment Counselling before finalizing a decision empowers couples to approach the situation with a clear perspective, reduced emotional turmoil, and a greater chance of making choices aligned with their long-term well-being.

Real Stories of Relationship Transformation

Real Stories of Relationship Transformation

Real Stories of
Relationship Transformation

Maha is an exceptional counsellor, and has helped our relationship immeasurably. She is extremely professional and we feel very comfortable discussing sensitive aspects of our relationship with her. she has an ability to pinpoint the precise issue we are dealing with in the moment and help us work through it. We would highly recommend her services to anyone.
-D & S. S
Maha gave us the tools to recognize and manage our triggers and understand how they were clouding our communication. She helped decipher what each of us was trying to express, vs. how it was being received. We now have the skills to handle difficult conversations before our emotions get the best of us, allowing each other the space to bring our best selves to the table. Maha is extremely skilled in her craft and we cannot praise her enough for the integral part she played in where our relationship stands today!
-I & F
My wife and I came to see Maha because we were finding that our communication had bogged down after 25+ years together. I wasn't sure if this was going to help having personally had less than stellar experiences over the years with therapists, but I was open to trying anything that might improve things between us. Turns out, I needed have worried, Maha was a breath of fresh air. Her genuine engagement, empathy, and extensive knowledge had me all in by the end of our first session. Maha has helped us discover new ways of speaking and listening, and most importantly, of understanding the other persons point of view. We are still on our journey together with Maha, but I am hopeful for the future and sure we will get to where we want to be with her guidance and support. I cannot recommend Maha highly enough to anyone seeking help with their marriage or personal life
-Steve & Liv
Maha created a place where my husband and I could communicate and learn to communicate with each other and learn to understand one another. I cannot thank Maha enough for her ability to truly help mediate and help us in such a kind, thoughtful and understanding manner.
-Elizabeth and H
Maha was our third counselor that we had consulted with and we immediately felt comfortable. As a younger couple (8 months of dating at the time), we were dismissed by other counsellors. Maha validated our experiences and has been an inspiring guide through our proactive couples therapy. With Maha’s guidance, we have felt more connected resulting in a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and a readiness to communicate them to each other.
-Phil & Megs
My partner and I came to Maha with a wide variety of issues and she has been a great help in guiding us through those. She is extremely knowledgeable and compassionate in her approach, but also gives it to you straight when there are things that need to be said. We like that she has a game plan beyond just letting/watching us talk. Our work with Maha has been extremely positive and I cannot recommend her highly enough.
-Eric & D
I have had nothing but a positive experience working with you. In fact, I am always recommending you to others because I feel like you have made such a positive impact on our relationship. We were in a bad place when I reached out to you, and since we have worked together, we have made huge improvements. I can't thank you enough.
-T & A Robins
Maha’s broad and varied depth of knowledge, as well as her empathetic approach, has paved the way to positive personal growth for me and my partner. It’s the first time my partner has ever been comfortable with a counsellor and we are reaping the benefits of her expertise.
-Lisa
Maha is excellent as a couples counsellor. We have seen several others and she is by far the most skilled and helpful we have ever had. Very grateful for this opportunity through our work.
-Mandy & Dave
Previous slide
Next slide
Book Your Free Consultation
Maha is an exceptional counsellor, and has helped our relationship immeasurably. She is extremely professional and we feel very comfortable discussing sensitive aspects of our relationship with her. she has an ability to pinpoint the precise issue we are dealing with in the moment and help us work through it. We would highly recommend her services to anyone.
-D & S. S
Maha is a phenomenal counselor. I have tried therapy multiple times and have never felt like it was 'successful' or that it made a difference. With Maha, I can list the ways that things are improved, tangible real world outcomes and I feel like, even though there is still more work to be done, Maha will get us there.
-Amy B
Maha gave us the tools to recognize and manage our triggers and understand how they were clouding our communication. She helped decipher what each of us was trying to express, vs. how it was being received. We now have the skills to handle difficult conversations before our emotions get the best of us, allowing each other the space to bring our best selves to the table. Maha is extremely skilled in her craft and we cannot praise her enough for the integral part she played in where our relationship stands today!
-I & F
It has been a great pleasure to sit and work with Maha. She has challenged me to approach issues with a different perspective as well as providing reassurance and support where I needed it. I am forever grateful for the growth and personal development that Maha has helped me navigate so far!
-R.U.
My wife and I came to see Maha because we were finding that our communication had bogged down after 25+ years together. I wasn't sure if this was going to help having personally had less than stellar experiences over the years with therapists, but I was open to trying anything that might improve things between us. Turns out, I needed have worried, Maha was a breath of fresh air. Her genuine engagement, empathy, and extensive knowledge had me all in by the end of our first session. Maha has helped us discover new ways of speaking and listening, and most importantly, of understanding the other persons point of view. We are still on our journey together with Maha, but I am hopeful for the future and sure we will get to where we want to be with her guidance and support. I cannot recommend Maha highly enough to anyone seeking help with their marriage or personal life
-Steve & Liv
Maha created a place where my husband and I could communicate and learn to communicate with each other and learn to understand one another. I cannot thank Maha enough for her ability to truly help mediate and help us in such a kind, thoughtful and understanding manner.
-Elizabeth and H
Maha Elias is truly incredible, I am so so grateful for everything she does. I have never met such an attentive, caring, passionate, and genuinely interested counsellor.
-Jake H.
Maha’s approach has challenged me in a gentle and reflective way, which has allowed me to discover and recognize my strength and resilience. She’s helped me reframe thoughts and given me a unique and positive perspective from areas in my life that I used to look at as weak and damaged. Maha makes me feel safe to be vulnerable. I have laughed and cried (sometimes at the same time) and no matter the topic or issue we are covering (and there have been A LOT) I leave our sessions feeling heard, understood and with a path forward.
-C.M.
Maha was our third counselor that we had consulted with and we immediately felt comfortable. As a younger couple (8 months of dating at the time), we were dismissed by other counsellors. Maha validated our experiences and has been an inspiring guide through our proactive couples therapy. With Maha’s guidance, we have felt more connected resulting in a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and a readiness to communicate them to each other.
-Phil & Megs
My partner and I came to Maha with a wide variety of issues and she has been a great help in guiding us through those. She is extremely knowledgeable and compassionate in her approach, but also gives it to you straight when there are things that need to be said. We like that she has a game plan beyond just letting/watching us talk. Our work with Maha has been extremely positive and I cannot recommend her highly enough.
-Eric & D
I have had nothing but a positive experience working with you. In fact, I am always recommending you to others because I feel like you have made such a positive impact on our relationship. We were in a bad place when I reached out to you, and since we have worked together, we have made huge improvements. I can't thank you enough.
-T & A Robins
Maha’s broad and varied depth of knowledge, as well as her empathetic approach, has paved the way to positive personal growth for me and my partner. It’s the first time my partner has ever been comfortable with a counsellor and we are reaping the benefits of her expertise.
-Lisa
The best way I can describe Maha is safe. She provided me so much safety and comfort so I could be my most vulnerable, open and honest self. She always made me feel seen and heard. Even though our sessions forced me to have difficult conversations, I genuinely looked forward to them because they provided clarity. I am so grateful for Maha’s support and the personal growth I made during my time with her.
-J.S.
Maha is excellent as a couples counsellor. We have seen several others and she is by far the most skilled and helpful we have ever had. Very grateful for this opportunity through our work.
-Mandy & Dave
Maha Elias is fantastic. Friendly, empathetic, and helpful, she's lovely to talk to and has helped me reach some useful insights about myself
-Jamie M.
Previous slide
Next slide
Book Your Free Consultation

Get In Touch

"*" indicates required fields

Name*

Maha Elias at Best Self Forward is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), and Comprehensive Family Mediator (FMC) specializing in Couples Counselling. Best Self Forward clients are from all parts of British Columbia, Canada including but not limited to Greater Victoria, Greater Vancouver and the Fraser Valley.

© 2023 by Best Self Forward, MA., RCC, CCC, FMC | Managed by Strategic Websites | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use

Linkedin